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We have two daughters, both grown up, married and each living approximately one hour's drive away in different directions. Our eldest has a 5 year old daughter and our youngest has just had a baby girl.

When our younger daughter had her baby almost three weeks ago, she had a very tough birth and had to stay in hospital for several days. My husband and I drove over there almost every day to support her and to let our son-in-law get some sleep. Once she was allowed home we went over to do some practical stuff like housework and shopping and to look after the baby as our daughter was physically weak. Then a week after the birth our daughter got post-natal depression, which was not a huge surprise as she has Asperger's Syndrome and life can sometimes be difficult for her at the best of times. Every day last week we drove over to her to let our son-in-law get some sleep (he had taken over complete care of the baby on advice from health professionals) and for us to take care of the baby. My daughter is receiving good help from the midwife team and the mental health team and has started to make some improvement. On Saturday our son-in-law's parents were coming for a few days so we knew we had some 'time off'.

Then our older daughter's mother-in-law was rushed into hospital on the Saturday. She had been suffering from dementia for some years and had been quite poorly before Christmas. Our five year old granddaughter went to stay with a friend for a sleepover while our daughter, husband and his dad went to the hospital. The decision was taken to remove all care and to just keep her comfortable until the end. Our daughter rang us on Sunday morning to ask us to come and look after our granddaughter so that they could go back to the hospital. We did just that and spent the whole day with our granddaughter, not getting back home until late. This week our granddaughter has been at school so they were able to manage without us.

Meantime, our other son-in-law went back to work on Wednesday and dropped our youngest daughter and baby with us for the day. Our daughter seemed much better and is now able to interact with the baby and do the practical stuff, although she still has to be careful not to overtax herself. We made plans for the forthcoming week over supporting her either at her house or ours, with contingencies built in for our eldest daughter. We are not needed until tomorrow by our youngest.

Then yesterday morning our eldest rang at quarter to six to say that her mother-in-law had died in the night and could we come over to take our granddaughter to school so that her husband and father-in-law could go to the hospital and say goodbye. Our granddaughter was very good (children are remarkably resilient) and we took her to school when it was time.

Over the next seven days we will be looking after our younger daughter. Our older daughter's husband has time off work now until after the funeral so they can manage for now.

I am NOT complaining about any of this, I am simply pointing out that your children do not stop being your children when they grow up. For those of you who have children still at home and might be dreading them flying the nest, settling down with someone else and no longer dependent on you - they will always need you.

With love to all our babies. :)