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This isn't something I can discuss with many people so it is nice to have a semi-anonymous place to let it out...

I have a 3 year old son who is the light of my and my partner's life. He was our 1st (and currently only) child and the 1st grandchild for both my parents and my partner's parents. After he was born and for almost 2 years after, everything was wonderful. Our families saw him frequently and showed him lots of love.

Then 2 things happened simultaneously: my partner's sister had a baby...and my son started showing more and more signs of autism. Him being autistic makes absolutely 0 difference to me or his father in how much we love or care about him. I LOVE everything about him that makes him special and unique. Well, one of those things is that he has a lot of social anxiety. He has made a ton of progress when it comes to visiting family members (he used to just cry and cry, now he will play and eat and talk) but he does NOT like to give hugs/kisses/snuggles to anyone other than me or his dad. My partner's mother has always made very clear how sad this makes her, even though I told her that doesn't mean he loves her any less. He talks about how much he loves her constantly. He also occasionally has meltdowns when he gets overwhelmed.

Once my sister-in-law had her baby, we started seeing progressively less and less of my partner's side of the family. Meanwhile, they saw more and more. Now, we are lucky to see them (mind you, this is my son's grandparents) once every other month maybe. And they see my SIL and her daughter almost every day since my mother-in-law decided to offer to babysit for free for them (never for us). It's absolutely broken my heart. Idk if she is conscious of this clear favoritism or not but it hurts my partner so much that he can't even talk about it with me.

The notion that my son's own family who claim to love him would favor his cousin purely because of his differences makes me sick to my stomach. Of course she would never admit that's the case. I don't know how to handle this as he gets older. Yes, I have a therapist who I have been talking to about this lol. But it's just on my mind all the time because it hurts so bad. Luckily my family still makes him a priority and sees him regularly.

Thanks for letting me vent