HGG Community Forums

I don't even know if I should post this here, but i'm in a quandry. i have a niece who came from a family of very neglected kids and she was the one her mother singled out as "difficult". My deceased husband, her uncle, made her his favorite because she needed a champion.

All was good until as she got older (she's 50 now), she did a lot of stuff that made us uncomfortable, and we distanced himself from her. Since my husband died (10 years ago) I'm "it".

She asks for advice that she never follows. She makes promises that she never keeps.
All conversations with her are pretty much one sided. She talks and talks and talks (and repeats herself)
When She's slightly more aware, she'll start the conversation with how are you, but invariably, it gets to be all about her. for hours and hours she can go on this way. And if you let her, she'll contact you at all hours of the night when she wants to ramble.

I decided about 6 months ago that I needed space from her; as a family member was in trouble and once again, she was telling me all this stuff she was going to do to help... but never did.

So now about every 2 weeks, She says, "I'm doing (good thing) now, can we talk? Can we go for a walk? meet for coffee?"
Even though she's gone to 3 grief counseling sessions I know she's not going to be any different than she was before. Owell.

I don't know what to do and I am looking for wise women here to give me some counsel.
Thanks