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I'll keep it brief. I haven't actually really spoken to anyone about this beside a close friend of mine or my mom. But this pregnancy has been the hardest thing I've been through yet. I found out I was pregnant last may, started getting horrible, uncontrollable morning sickness and was fired from my job in June. I was dealing with infidelity from months prior, was an emotional wreck and my relationship had turned emotionally, mentally and borderline abusive! Flying home from visiting my family someone had an awful cough on the plane.. I contracted covid. It amplified the relationship issues and my morning sickness but that's a whole other story.

Now the part I want to actually talk about...

I discovered around 24 weeks that my baby has a heart defect. She has what's called a septal ventricular defect which is basically a hole in the muscle between the left and right chamber of the heart. I remember being so in shock when the doctor told me that I didn't even process it until I was walking out of the hospital. I called my mom crying, I was obviously devastated. My relationship progressively got worse and I couldn't take it anymore. I finally fled in October last year. I packed what little I had, my cat and my plants and with less than 600$ bucks to my name drove across country from TX to MT to be bacl with my family. It hasn't been without obstacles.

I thought leaving would help my relationship, if not with him then at least with myself. But I didn't know at the time that what I had experienced would be considered abuse, I never thought he could do that to me. He had never physically hurt me but it did escalate where I no longer felt safe and needed to leave asap. The day we (kitty and I) left it was pouring rain and I could barely see the road. I drove over 26 hours with 2 stops on the way to get home to my family. I made it finally. I was going to be okay finally.

We had an appointment set with a fetal cardiologist not long after my arrival, I feel so, so blessed it could be with a renowned cardio from seattle childrens hospital. They did a bunch of tests and ultrasounds. The doctor came to our room to discuss what they found and I cried. He didn't have bad news to share, it was good. She wouldn't require a new heart or any surgery to correct her heart, she will be healthy. It would be unlikely to close before birth and still hasn't. But her heart has only gotten stronger.

Now I am 37 weeks and a day. I was put into a high risk category 2 weeks ago. This has been so hard. I'm taking off work almost 3/4 weeks early because this has been killing me physically. I was developing symptoms of something called hellp syndrome, I have twice weekly fetal monitoring with a weekly ultrasound. She's to a point where her growth is beginning to platue and they're worried about placental or umbilical failure so I'm being closely monitored and this is all due to contracting covid during pregnancy. Something about it causes failure in these vital organs in women and they're not sure what causes it.

They said she looks good at today's appointment but they are weary. I'm sick to death about my delivery and I just want her to be here now. I most likely will need an induction or if the placenta/ cord start failing then emergency c section. This has been the hardest year of my life (2022).

Edit: that turned out to be not very brief. Lol.