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Soliloquy · Jul 10, 2023 7:09 AM

My husband and I are in our mid thirties with a 2 and 5 year old and 2 aging large dogs. We've lived in suburbia for the last 10 years in a small house. We made the call to start looking for a house with acreage back in January. The goal was to be closer to supportive family while upgrading our living situation and having more green space for outside time. Fast forward to present and we have found an updated 1940s farmhouse with 1.6 acres. On paper, it suits all our needs and is a very attractive home, but suddenly I am nervous as all get out. I'm so scared we are making a mistake as there is nothing wrong per-say with our current home.

Real estate is a wild ride right now. The house we liked went on the market yesterday and by 7 pm, there were 5 offers including ours. We put in an offer well above asking price, but now I feel like I was rushed and forced to make a rash decision. I'm nitpicking details now. Like, how the house is close to a busier road that my toddler could run towards and how my dog might be afraid of the flooring (he's a giant baby). My husband is just as nervous as I am, but is more worried about the state of the basement. What if we spend all this money to leave a house we didn't need to leave and are miserable?

I really wish I could ask my dad what he would have thought, but he's been gone for 15 years now. My husband's family is amazing, but are obviously biased because we are moving closer to them. My mom and brother are rarely constructive or helpful and I don't have any friends I'm close enough to to talk about this. So, I'm hoping maybe some of you guys can offer me something. Am I being irrational? Is this normal? It's okay to tell me exactly what you think.

I'm aware we might not even get this house, but I'm worried this might be a recurring feeling/problem as/if we continue our search. Thank you for reading my rant. I really do appreciate it.

WhiteValley · Jul 10, 2023 7:18 AM

Moving home is one of the most stressful things you can do. My husband and I moved to our current house almost 5 years ago from the house we had lived in for 30 years. We knew it was the right thing to do but making sure we chose the right place was really important as we want this to be our last home (not being morbid, just practical).

One thing we did was write down on paper the pros and cons of the different properties that we had seen. This gave us the chance to see which ones were not going to meet our needs and to discount them. You could do something similar with your dilemma. Make a list of the pros and cons of moving or staying put. Seeing it on paper might help to get some perspective. The other thing to remember is that a new property will never have everything you want, compromise is key.

I hope this has helped a bit. Best of luck. :)

Soliloquy · Jul 11, 2023 4:15 AM

Thank you! The last part about no house being perfect was especially helpful. We did not end up getting the house. Somebody was able to pay cash for it, which blows my mind. Back to the drawing board for now.

annismyrph · Jul 11, 2023 5:07 AM

What helped my husband and I decide on the house we bought was a list ; it had to be a ranch style as my back wont let me do stairs, it had to be with in a certain distance of work, it HAD to have a fenced in back yard for the dog , we really wanted 2 bathrooms ( cuz YUCK on sharing a bathroom with a man lol ) and needed to please have 3 bedrooms ; one for us , one for each of us to have an office. Once we started working on the list it was super helpful in narrowing down choices we were seeing , and when we walked in the 8th or 9th house we saw i KNEW it was the one I wanted. Alot of the nervousness was reduced becuase it checked so many of the boxes we wanted.

Soliloquy · Jul 13, 2023 6:30 PM

Wow! Under ten houses is awesome. We've seen close to thirty so far and only put an offer on this last one. I started getting excited right before we found out we didn't get it. I think next time my emotions will be better prepared - at least, I hope.

annismyrph · Jul 14, 2023 3:49 AM

HAving the list made it alot easier to narrow down which houses we wanted to see, so we only went to the ones that were close to the "match" it made for a lot less driving lol

ichigo · Jul 15, 2023 2:28 PM

I bought my house 6 years ago and I totally get it! So much excitement and heartbreak. We're at the point where our house has DOUBLED in value (we got so lucky buying a cheap house in an area that absolutely BOOMED within a year) so we are starting to look at moving, and I just have not pulled the trigger on doing anything because I know how hard it is! We put in an offer on a different house before we found this one and I remember how absolutely in love with it I was and totally confident we'd get it-but we didn't. In hindsight I'm glad we got this one in the end, better bathroom lol

I learned a lot from that experience, the main thing being - what is meant to happen will happen. You have to let it ride and keep pushing forward when you get knocked down, the right home will find you.

Soliloquy · Jul 21, 2023 9:55 AM

Thanks @ichigo! Our current home has also doubled in value. I'm grateful it has because we're now in a position where we can afford to be picky. The last two weeks have been slim pickings. It's getting a little demoralizing, especially since we were trying to get this done before my oldest started kindergarten (which will be at the end of August). But, I believe you are right. We will find the right home as long as we don't give up.

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