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Oatsman · Jul 24, 2023 4:35 PM

I'm sick to my stomach right now, this has been the month from bell. I escape my abusive relationship in October last year and went home to Montana where I had my most beautiful baby girl. She was born with a heart defect and I thought we were making progress in her health after we had a huge series of other complication. At her 6th month appt earlier this month I brought up how her eyes jolt back and forth, her pediatrician was concerned. So I was recommended to schedule an eye exam and that was today... It could be a lot of things. We were referred to a specialist in another town to help us and get a second opinion on what he saw today. They dialated her eyes and took a peak inside and it is unknown to me currently what he saw specifically; he told me he's going to refer us and he recommends some genetic testing as well.

Her abusive dad filed for a paternity test and I have a little over a week left to respond. Finding a lawyer to help has been absolute h*ll. Everybody's busy or they cost thousands in retainer, I cant afford it and shes going to suffer because of it. I need somebody good, .a shark, someone savvy who will fight for us and protect my infant from him. I hate life so much right now.

I learned he didn't pay rent and got out of the contract leaving me with 2,000 in debt, he knew. He knew and did that to me. He ruined my credit and therefore my ability to buy a home or even freaking rent an apartment.

He's ruining my life and I should have ruined his by calling authorities when he threated my life.

On top of it my car has a big recall for a bunch of factory defects that affect the engine and cause it to spontaneously explode or ruin the engine. I can't afford any of this. I'm so tired and I'm so freaking stressed out and I can't understand why all of this is happening and what I did to deserve it. I just want to be happy with my baby

:((

Fiddler · Jul 24, 2023 8:45 PM

Take a deep breath. I'm sure if i were in your shoes, I'd be in a panic too.
I don't know where you're looking for lawyers or where you have to look, but don't give up.
And keep loving your little girl, no matter what rare condition she has, you're still going to love her.
And about your car, don't they fix recalled cars for free?

SandyCreekAcres · Jul 24, 2023 8:54 PM

I'm so sorry that you're having such a difficult time. I'm afraid that I don't have much practical advice, since my life has pretty much gone very smoothly.

However, please PM me with your name and your daughter's name. I'll put you both on my church's prayer list, as well as continuing my own prayers for you throughout the weekdays as well.

Meanwhile, here are some cyber hugs, so you'll know that somebody cares.

>:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

annismyrph · Jul 25, 2023 1:16 AM

First, you need to breathe, you got out and survived. Second as a survivor of Domestic Violence; there are attorney's who specialize in it ; call you local courthouse or DV hotline and they can help you. Please breathe hun, I ve been in that same situation. When i told my ex I was pregnant his response was " get rid of it or get out" My son turns 30 next April. I mean its obvious you love your daughter, so focus on the fact you are now safe. He might be able to try to hurt you emotionally but he cant hurt you physically any more. Breathe Momma. Just take a minute and breathe. Feel free to PM me if you need a shoulder or a safe place to vent. We ve got you!

Treble · Jul 25, 2023 12:33 PM

Would LegalShield be an option that would help?

Oatsman · Jul 29, 2023 8:39 PM

Thank you guys :)

An update: my baby girl has PT starting Monday, we get to see the ophthalmologist on Tuesday in my home town and I'm filing a restraining order come Monday as well. Let's hope they grant it even though he's a few states away.

OopsDotCom · Oct 21, 2023 10:25 PM

We haven’t heard how things are going for you. I keep coming back to look and see what has changed.

Brandybrookes · Oct 22, 2023 5:53 AM

Oatsman, i have been in a similar situation as you with the abusive ex standpoint with having a child. It is litterally the hardest to go through and i feel for you! It took years for me to clear my name of what he painted a picture of to other people, he used everything he could including our child as a way to control and manipulate. Oatsman where are you currently located? Each state/country have different laws and things that can help protect you and your child. But you will have to be paitent and be Very careful of what and how you say things to your ex or his family ect. I hope you have good family support as this really matters ❤️ . I will do my best to give you advice from my own experience, but some things will be different depending where you live and what the laws are there.

SandyCreekAcres · Oct 22, 2023 1:03 PM

I hope you are finding the help you need. You and your daughter continue to be prayed for by my church parish each Sunday (St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Troy, PA). May the Lord bless and keep the two of you through this difficult time. >:D< >:D<

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