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I am so very sorry for your loss. Not having any forewarning and the ability to say good bye is unimaginable.

In 2011 I made the conscious decision to load my beloved hackney pony onto a trailer and take him to the vet to have him euthanized. He was 27 and had an unknown illness that the vets were not willing to make a legitimate effort to diagnose because of his age. I had him since he was 4, imported from England at 3 and a confirmed runaway in harness at 4 because no one recognized that he was in pain and so was sold as rank. He was with me through so many of life's ups and downs. The decision was difficult because in making this decision I felt I was not giving him a chance, 27 after all is not old for this breed and I had competed him successfully and retired him at 24. It was heartbreaking to see him wax and wane over the month we gave him to recover and in the end, just before Christmas his condition took a swift downturn in a 48 hours period to a point where I feared I'd come out to feed and find that he had passed away. I did not want him to suffer and I didn't want the property owners (not horse owners themselves with 3 young children) to have to experience the death of a large animal on their property over the holiday. I came out early the next morning, having made the decision the night before, to hook the trailer up and take him. He seemed to have rallied and was excited to see the trailer being moved and shortly after dragged my daughter, with her at the end of the lead rope, up into the trailer - I'm sure he thought he was headed to another competition - something he enjoyed doing.

I haven't done carriage driving of any sort since his passing though I have 2 other ponies that drive. He was there for me when my marriage started to get emotionally draining and I was working 5 jobs while my husband started to let his alcoholism rule his life, when my father died and then a few months later when my husband died. He taught my daughter to ride and drive, she did horseback archery and medieval games on him at 9 years old. His athleticism, exuberance and competitiveness made me a respected whip in our carriage driving community. When competing at Arena Drives or CDE throngs of folks who knew my pony would come to see him do hazards or cones, he had been nick named "King Cone" by a few of his fans. When out at shows volunteering or spectating, folks would come up and ask me how he was doing - even if they didn't recall my name. He used to play cow pony out in the pasture with people who would play the role of the cows and the way he interacted was so cool people who saw him play this game couldn't believe he was an equine. And like your horse he was so very quirky. We taught him to spanish walk and he would "run away' with my daughter at the spanish walk, when he was hungry he'd carry his feed pan around and wave it, he would get upset and pout for days if we took other horses to shows and left him at home. Too many silly little mannerisms to list here. I miss him so much and get teary eyed just thinking about him.

It's a testimony to lack of compassion of the people that don't comprehend the connection you had with your horse or recognize that your horse had a personality. These folks will never know the enrichment animals of any size can bring to your life if you can only make a connection with them. Not the sort of people you want to surround yourself with. Try not to be offended by them, they are broken - feel sorry for them that they will will never have the treasures you have in your horses.

I hope that you can get out soon to comfort your remaining horse. They don't often show it but I know that they too mourn the loss of their friends and companions.

I totally understand your pain. My first horse was killed in a terrible accident as well. I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss... That is truly a painful experience. Our family's first horse was a beautiful dapple grey thoroughbred who was believed to have too little potential on the local racetrack... so we rescued him. He also passed suddenly and painfully while we were in another town on business... He was so affectionate, sweet and well-behaved that it took us a while to realize he would let himself out of his stall for nighttime walks. He would park himself back in his stall before morning and even close the door behind him. Until now, I keep thinking that if only we had changed the latch before leaving town, he would still be alive. I still miss him so much.

Now I'm in a situation somewhat similar to yours. I'm in another city with no "horse friends" for college. Meanwhile back home, I know the horse I part-own is aging... He has been around with me through the toughest years of my teenage angst, and has helped me come to terms with needing therapy and medication for my hormonal imbalance. It's been 12 years since I first met him and I love him so very much. Now knowing that he's getting old makes me react with a jolt of fear every time I receive a text from his other owner.

God bless our horses and their hearts... They are such amazing creatures that take such good care of us. I too hope that things work out in such a way that you can go home soon and be with your horse and your family. I know that one day we'll all meet our beloved horses once more... In the meantime we just have to keep riding on.

More love and strength to all the kind and compassionate horse people out there. @};-