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You think I'd be happier to be going back to school and doing something I love right? Well...kinda. I'm excited to start my Baking Lab Class this semester but so far, this week has been an absolute wreck.
Dealing with anxiety has become part of my life (this month I will be trying CBD oil because I'm trying to stay away from prescription meds due to family history with them) and this week I've just had an endless cycle of panic attacks and sinking feelings.
Also this week I learned that I won't be able to take a Cake decorating class at school because the lady I nanny for is demanding I work 6 days a week. Which I explained to her was simply impossible since I'm at school 2 days a week from 8am to 8pm and she hasn't been in the best of mood since I've told her that. I knew I couldn't ask for yet another day off without the risk of feeling her wrath. Of course, I've definitely thought about quitting but I am in a bind and need the money.

I also learned that my car need 4 new shocks and a new strut. (there goes my GMT and Barn/Pasture money) And it's going to cost more than I thought. And on Sunday my car battery died for NO reason, it took an hour to jump-start it in the cold and rain and when I went to Auto-Zone to get it tested they said nothing was wrong so lately I've been living with the fear of getting into my car and it not starting.
And yesterday as I was driving I looked back into my rearview mirror for a split second and while I was looking away from the front of my car somehow car oil splatter ALL over it (I mean...ALL over it guys. SO much oil). At first, I thought it was mud so I ran my car through the car wash but of course, since it was oil it did nothing (there goes another $10 out of my pocket) so I stood in front of the car wash for 30 minutes scrubbing oil off my windshield as best as I could with napkins I found in my glove compartment because they didn't have towels at this car wash.

And with school starting this week it has just been a big stressor. I had all of my classes planned out and I even registered in October when it opened up and was all set to go. Well, Monday I looked at the requirements for my speech class and I know I couldn't meet them. There was no way I could gather 6 people every week to sit and watch the speeches that I had to give. I'm not a social person and don't know a lot of people so getting that many together would've been too much stress on me. So I had no problem dropping speech with the intention of taking it next year, and with my luck %%- today is the last day to drop and add classes so trying to find a class that I NEEDED for my degree proved harder then I thought. Especially since online classes get filled up quickly and the fact I can only go to school on Thursdays.
Thankfully I found a teacher willing to let me into his class that didn't require attendance in class, only online. Great, I thanked him multiple times for fitting me in. Only catch it...the book and access code are $250 dollars. Of course, I had to buy it to be part of the class. So that's more money that I don't have that I'm having to spend. I'm having to push getting my car fixed even further into the spring.

Ok. I know it's not all that horrible. There are a lot of things I really appreciate in life, I have a wonderful long-term boyfriend that is supporting me through everything and offering help where he can (I.e. trying to find cheaper textbooks, helping me research CBD, giving general support) and I FINALLY scheduled myself a horse-riding lesson at my old barn tomorrow and I'm so excited for that. But right now everything is overwhelming and I (clearly) just needed to vent.

If you read through all that mumbo-jumbo have a cookie or a HUG because I really appreciate you!

Have a great day everybody! Thank you for joining into my rant :))

EDIT: Whoever was kind enough to send a new Barn and a new pasture my way! YOU have made my entire week! Thank you so so much! I can't even begin to say how surprised and happy I was to see that! You guys are all amazing :) :x